Calm Before the Storm

A lonely battle. Doubt. Success. A great plan has transpired.

I am on the other side of what was once an if
Living beyond an if is my lastest step
Doubt has been overtaken by how

...

A strange night.
A gig where I am quietly unknown
I go about my duties as the others

I cannot be stopped.
The times are coming..?
The times are now!

I am living what I project
Uncommon understanding takes it's place
Past the jokes
Past the luxuries
Beyond the wants
There is need and friends.

Meaning behind is now meaning
Looking where others aren't seeing
Seeing the degrees of separation between all

There is no end.

Moving On

I thought it is love, it may be.
In her eyes I was fond for the while.
A fondness to not be shared.

-Other things were her future and it was a fact.
I will wrap this piece of her around my head.
In time we part, I loose the act.

You will forget me as we part.
To prove her wrong is my expectation.
A grave err on my behalf.

Regret is the sub for my misplaced facade.
Too strange to try, too rare to give up.
These others around are pale to me.

How can I find another, as the best?
My thoughts are hers.
Holding me from, I consider her often.

...

I am no longer in her eyes.
Her fondness has found more fitting grounds.
Another will be parted.

Or another will be hers?

The Beginning

Ever become interested in something, you pursue it for a while until it's no longer easy for
whatever reason(s); slowly you loose interest, until perhaps you have but a vague memory of why you were interested in it, maybe you forget why all-together.

I've been doing this sort of thing most of my life so far.

Why do I loose interest and move on so often?

Is it because there's no more useful knowledge I can obtain from the something?
Has it stopped serving a purpose of some sort?

From my observations, it has always been my lack of motivation to pursue it further; when the my interests have anything but peaked. No interest to feed the motivation, but interest is just one of motivation's favorite foods.

When I move on to being mildly committed to another something, I'm exercising the same mental habit/mechanism I was previously, though I might learn a thing or two about a new subject, what good is it if I keep using this same type of thought in everything I do?

Trying the same thing... Expecting different results? (If expecting at all!)

How will I ever advance if I don't change this about myself?


I need to know what it is like to not only be interested in something, but to hold my attention to it even when I'm not particularly interested, or I feel drawn elsewhere; I need to break through this wall and keep myself from becoming distracted by whatever reasons I am presented with.

I need to commit to an act and be with it, from the beginning to the end.




Like a baby, I start small.